I ran across a blog post today that began with the sentence,
Another reason why most people fail at the law of attraction is because they are in a state of wanting rather than a state of giving.
I disagree with this statement, respectfully, of course, and I’d like to present my counter argument here.
Now, I am in complete agreement with you that being in a state of wanting hinders LOA. Where I disagree is the ‘frequency’ on which one should be instead.
You say giving.
I say receiving.
Which is more difficult for most people, giving a compliment or receiving one?
Buying lunch for a friend, or allowing a friend to buy lunch for you?
We deflect the compliment (What, this old thing?).
We protest and reach for the check, or barter, to lessen the ick feeling that receiving gives us (Okay, fine, but I’ll leave the tip).
If one cannot receive something as simple and free as a compliment without resistance, how can one expect to receive their heart’s desires? If one cannot be comfortable receiving the gift of a $20 lunch, plus tip, how can one expect to be open to receiving a car, or a house, or a million dollars?
That is assuming one has the ability to actually ask the universe for what they desire, instead of bartering for it. If you approach your vision boards and your affirmations and your meditations as the price to pay for what you’re ‘asking’ for, you’re not actually asking, you’re bartering.
Vision boards, affirmations, meditation, these aren’t costs, they’re tools. Like the cardboard sign of a panhandler. The sign isn’t the cost he has to pay for the asking, it’s the method by which the panhandler aligns himself with the people who have what he wants.
If my previous analogy bothered you, I highly recommend you work on removing any blocks which you may be harboring in the area of receiving. I noticed my own resistance even as I wrote it.
Most of us have a deep seated aversion to getting something for nothing. It doesn’t jibe with our concept of ‘fairness’. That concept is based in scarcity. That for one to gain, another must lose. This is simply not the case, and as humanity moves into a higher consciousness, this concept will dissipate. Capitalism will crumble, and it will be just one more thing future generations will look back on and shake their heads, completely dumbfounded as to why we ever thought it was a good idea.
Exercise: Asking & Receiving – Energy
To begin practicing being comfortable in a state of asking and receiving, I task you to ask people for something that relates to what you’re asking the universe to give you. If it’s money, ask people for a dollar. If it’s love, ask for a hug. If it’s peace on Earth, ask someone to share in a moment of silence for the victims of the latest catastrophe. Whatever desire you are attempting to manifest into your life, practice asking for and receiving a version of it with others. If you find asking a stranger too difficult, ask family members. Ask friends. (If you are concerned your friends will grow poor before you get over your aversion to receiving, ask for a penny.)
Pay attention to how this makes you feel.
If you feel ‘tight’, especially in your shoulders, your chest, or your stomach, you definitely have a resistance to asking/receiving, and it will definitely affect any manifestations you are attempting.
Gratitude is the highest vibration. It’s no coincidence that the highest vibration is one centered solely on receiving. Focus on feeling gratitude while asking, as well as while receiving. All you have to do is conjure the feeling. One way you can achieve this is, before asking someone for something, pause for a moment to reflect on the purpose behind what you’re about to do. Your purpose is to align yourself with ask/receive energy.
Now, focus on the person you plan to ask something of. Focus on how, regardless of whether they comply with your request or not, by simply allowing you to ask, they are helping you along your spiritual journey. Allow yourself to feel love and gratitude toward this person for their help.
Release as much attachment as you can to the outcome of your request. Do not approach them until you have been able to experience feeling appreciation for both a denial and an acceptance. It can be difficult to come up with a reason to feel grateful for someone denying your request, so if you’re having trouble, think back to a time where you didn’t get what you wanted, but what you ended up with turned out to be so much better. If my husband hadn’t lost his job five years ago, he wouldn’t have been at the party the night we met. Find your own ‘unanswered prayer’ to focus on to cultivate that feeling of gratitude for not getting what you want.
When you can both ask and receive without any trace of resistance, from loved ones and strangers alike, you will know that you have greatly reduced, if not completely removed, your resistance to asking and receiving from the universe.
Also… don’t forget to embrace every opportunity to receive WITHOUT asking first. Let your friend buy you lunch, with a smile and heartfelt gratitude. Accept that compliment with both enthusiasm AND grace!