Minute Musing

People don’t exist to make you happy.

This may seem pretty basic.  On the surface, we’re all aware of the truth of that statement, but I’d like to encourage you to sit with it for a minute.  Really consider how often we get irritated or aggravated with others because they don’t do or say what we want them to, or how we want them to.  How often do we base our happiness in externals?

I know that for myself, the answer is way too often.

On the flip side of the coin, how do we feel when people get angry with us for not being/doing/saying what they want?  Guilty? Angry? 

Is your anger when others don’t ‘make you happy’ related to the need you feel to make others happy?

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6 thoughts on “Minute Musing

  1. – Is your anger when others don’t ‘make you happy’ related to the need you feel to make others happy?

    Interesting question.

    I think it’s a case by case basis. Some more than others. I find with time when we step in the truth of who we are, when we start living from inside-out, we feel less the need for others to make us happy hence less the need to be validated by others. People pleasers tend to put the happiness of others before theirs resulting in a lot of resentment overtime because when others make the decision to put their own happiness before theirs, they see their behavior as being “selfish” or inconsiderate.

    People pleasers will go overboard to make someone else happy thinking it’s the way to be in life. The issue with that is they live from outside-in. They depend on others and their external environment for happiness. They will often put the responsibility of their own life in other people hands. This results in a lot of deception and negative emotions like anger.

    Making others happy sure is a great motto; but we have to ask ourselves where does this need come from? If it comes from a confident secure place, it is healthy, because it is not emotionally attached to the fear of being abandoned or rejected. But If It stem from childhood insecurities and attachment issues, it is unhealthy… for both individuals.

    When our identity is rooted in others instead of being rooted in ourselves, we allow people to control our feelings… But at the end of the day, we need to understand we’re all human beings dealing with our own inner reality so when someone else puts the responsibility of their happiness on us, It can truly feel like a burden.

    […]

    With time, when we start realizing we are the agent of our own happiness, we put less responsibility on others, allowing them and also us to come from a genuine/healthy pleasing non-needy place.

    Nice read 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We all struggle with something. It’s hard out here lol. I used to be a big people pleaser until one day I realized I was loosing myself in others. I used to stop myself from truly being the person I wanted to because I was scared if I did I would loose people I thought loved me for me. Turns out, we never get to see who really loves us until we start living our truth. Take care of yourself. It’s important. Sometimes some people leave then they come back. Other time they leave to make room for better folks to come around.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s about where I’m at now… but first I have to figure out who ‘me’ really is… everyone’s been loving me because I just became what they wanted me to be, and now I have no idea who I really am!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I get it and totally understand. I know those feelings oh too well. It can feel overwhelming… But, from my perspective and experience, this is actually a good sign. I wish I knew.

        There is no other better time than when we are lost. Because in order to find ourselves we have to loose ourselves. From there we can totally rewrite our stories. Sometimes the Universe makes us loose our way so that we can find a better way. When we are at our lowest point, we are also at our highest. That’s what as above so below means… The soul knows what to do… Always. The tricky part is to quite the fearful and scared mind… It’s when we do not know that we know best…

        Liked by 1 person

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