A Closer Look At Failure

What is failure?

Who decides whether we have, indeed, failed?

Who wrote your definitions of success and failure?

Was it you?  Was it your parents?  Your teachers?  Your priest?  Your wife?  Or perhaps the ethereal ‘they’ of society at large?

If it isn’t your own voice you hear calling you a success or a failure, first of all, you’re on the wrong channel, and you need to do some tuning on your dial.  If it’s your mom’s voice telling you you’re an idiot because you spilled something, tell that thought to fuck off while you clean up the mess, and ask yourself whether creating the mess makes you a success or a failure.

If it’s your own voice calling you a failure, ask yourself why.  What is it about the experience that makes it a failure.  Once you know that, then you’re in a position to figure out how to turn ‘what is’ into a success, instead of a failure.  What would it take to get from here (failure) to where I want to be (success)?

If you spilled the milk, and you’re feeling like a failure, then ask yourself what it is about spilling the milk in particular that means ‘failure’?  What is it, exactly, at which you have failed?  You haven’t failed the world, it’s still spinning.  You haven’t failed the country, your family is all still alive, no one’s hurt… at most, at the very most, you might have failed at having cereal for breakfast.  Stop and think once in a while.  Really consider how much gravity actually applies to any given situation.  More often than not, we’ll discover that things are almost always better than they seem to us, initially.  Is the ding in the door really that big of a deal?  It’s a door.  It’s not a person.  It’s not ‘hurt’ in the suffering sense of the word, and neither is anyone else.  The crayon on the wall will come off with a little bit of elbow grease, or a new coat of paint… and what a wonderful opportunity this is to repaint the living room that lovely shade you were just thinking about (after you take pictures of the artwork, of course!).

Failure is nothing more than success viewed through the lense of low vibration.

Every moment, if you remain aware of the communication between yourself and the Divine, is a success, because every moment is either a success, or a lesson in what to avoid when desiring success.  There’s no loss to you in this equation, because either way, you win.  Either way, you gain the insight and the experience and the know-how.  Something either works or it doesn’t, and either way, you’re now aware of whether carrying milk with wet hands produces the result you desire successfully or not.

The fate of mankind does not rest on whether you succeed or fail; even if it did, and you did, in fact, fail… there’d be no one around to blame you for failing, anyway, so relax.  Let yourself remain aware of the true stakes in whatever it is you’re trying to achieve.  The ultimate goal behind the task at hand.  If the ultimate goal behind making your kid come help you work on a car is to make him (or her!) self sufficient, then make it your business to do whatever it takes to get them interested in what you’re doing.  Give them the tools they need to be successful in the project, but remember to put some effort into creating desire along with instilling the knowledge.  We desire the things we enjoy.  Make things enjoyable.  Make them fun.  Not just for kids, either.  Make it fun for you!

Make your life one of chasing success after success, not one of avoiding failure after failure, and make sure that you are the author of the way you define what makes your life a success or a failure.  No one can define what makes your journey here a successful one, or its inverse, except you.  If you are close to where I am, vibrationally, you will feel the truth in my words.

Define what makes you a success, and stop focusing on what others might consider failures.  Focus on the success you desire, because what you focus on, you manifest into your life.  Some days, success can be something as simple as taking a shit.  If you don’t believe me, ask the mother of a constipated newborn.  Whatever constitutes success for you, real success, focus on that.

Count the blessings as they hatch.

I kind of smashworded with two totally different phrases there, but you understand what I mean.  Focus on the things that go your way.  On the money you saved.  On the smile you brought to someone’s face, or the kitten you rescued from a tree.

Remind yourself often that you can never fail, no matter what you do, or what others call the path your life takes, you’re not a failure.  You’re not failing.  You’re doing nothing more than taking the contrast-filled scenic route to success.  You’re creating a more challenging starting point from which to reach success; you’re so brilliant, that usual, run of the mill challenges which others choose simply wouldn’t suffice.  Not for you.

If Edison, inventer of the filament in the incandescent light bulb, had defined success as ‘discovering 10,001 ways not to invent a light bulb’, would not his greatest success have been, ultimately, his greatest failure?  Can you see how, by simply moving the goal posts (whose placement we have complete and utter control over), we can turn failure into success, and vice versa?

How does one woman feel like a smashing success when she stays home and cares for her family, while another woman feels like a dismal failure unless she’s working, earning an income, and proving her worth to society?  Because we each define our own ideas of what makes us a success or a failure.  Whether we accept and perpetuate the ‘rules’ as to what constitutes failure and what constitutes success from our parents, or whether we try to keep up with the ever-narrowing definition of success by societal standards… regardless, we are setting ourselves up to fail.  The only way you will ever ensure your unconditional success is to give yourself permission to redefine success, however it takes, in such a way, that I turn ‘now’ into a success.  Into something worth being grateful for.

Because, once you can find gratitude for something, you have locked onto a feeling of appreciation for something that is wanted, and the Law of Attraction has something we desire to latch onto and bring into our lives.

When you live life in fear of the unwanted, fear of failing, your focus is almost exclusively on the things that you don’t want, thereby attracting more of that same ‘unwanted’ into your life.

Are your thoughts on the ‘now’ asking the Universe to send you more of the things you do want, or more of the things you don’t want?

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6 thoughts on “A Closer Look At Failure

  1. “you’re so brilliant, that usual, run of the mill challenges which others choose simply wouldn’t suffice.  Not for you.” LOVE this!! Yes! Wow, this actually hit me deeply today. I’ve been dealing with some challenges in my own life in which I’ve had a few moments where I felt as though I was a bit of a failure. This came right on time. Thank you so much, Amanda. Awesome post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re so very welcome, Kayla! It is always an honor to be the vessel with which the Universe lifts another’s spirits! It brightens my day to have been of service to you, sister!

      Namaste, my friend. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It is too easy to focus on failure. I grew up with that focus. It is so hard to change it. I am a good person, I don’t know why others don’t like me or love me the way I want or why I even want loved in a way I don’t get. But, I am an ok person! Good words to think about, Amanda. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to feel that way, too. Until quite recently, in fact.

      The problem with this specific topic is that it is so emotionally charged for us, as humans. In fact, I had this whole other response typed out, but I deleted it, because I wasn’t comfortable approaching it the way I had chosen.

      So, to simplify things:

      When we place judgements on others, we place judgements on ourselves. The same things which make others unlovable to us is what makes US unlovable to us, too. And the things WE don’t like/love about ourselves are most often the things we feel unloved by others FOR.

      That judgement you feel, that distance between yourself and others, it’s an INTERNAL thing, not an external thing.

      Funny story… (well, sad, kind of- but I can laugh about it now) up until a few weeks ago, I had a friend who I was quite fond of, but I wasn’t sure how much she actually liked me, and how much was ‘we run in the same circles, so it’s easier to be friendly than acrimonious’… just about a week ago, she messages me, and tells me I’m one of the best friends she’s ever had. Blew me away. And the only thing that had changed recently? I stopped expecting her to live up to my definition of what makes someone a good friend to ME, and started expecting ME to live up to my definition of what makes someone a good friend to anyone.

      I stopped parsing out my genuine affection to those whom I felt ‘deserved it’, those who had ‘earned’ my loyalty and friendship, and began giving everyone the most genuine affection I could muster, regardless of how they behaved.

      Don’t get me wrong, I am far from perfect. I fail, sometimes spectacularly. Especially while driving. I still get angry. My feelings still get hurt. People still dislike me.

      But it’s no longer a PRODUCTION. Every. Single. Time.

      When I get angry, I no longer fume for DAYS. When I feel hurt, I no longer mope for WEEKS. It’s not that life somehow magically changes, and no negative experiences ever affect your life again. No. The negative experiences still HAPPEN, but they no longer run the show. They no longer control my general sense of well-being.

      I wish I could help you more. I wish we could sit together on your front porch, sipping a cup of hot cocoa (or tea/coffe, if that’s your bag), and talk. About life, love, joys, sorrows, and friendship… but until that day comes, I hope you know that in Spirit, I am your friend. I value you. Not because your visits affect my blog stats, but because you are genuine. You are a loving, generous, wounded soul, who accepted ME, and my words, and my rambling.

      We are connected, you and I. Your presence in my life gives me happiness and joy, reaching me all the way from the other side of the continent!

      You are beautiful, inside and out. Your soul sparkles and shines, ignorant of the pain and sorrow your mind bears. You give and give and give of yourself to others, but who gives to you? Do you?

      I know we have discussed this before, but are you practicing self-care? Are you refueling your own energy stores, before you try to give to others, or do you try to serve from an empty vessel?

      Are you asking others to take time for you, to love you, when you show them by your actions that YOU don’t even consider YOURSELF worthy enough to take the time to love?

      I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself, but I AM trying to get you to see if, perhaps, you are asking from others that which you are unwilling (or unable) to give to yourself?

      You have such a generous, loving heart, Kris. It’s so evident in your words here, as well as on your own blog. 🙂

      Things will change for you soon. Don’t give up. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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