Have you ever had ‘one of those days’? One of those days where it seems like you can’t get your feet under you, and everything seems to be rubbing you the wrong way, and you’re an ace from slapping the next person who looks sideways in your direction?
Today was that day.
Now, this isn’t my first such day, and I don’t expect it will be my last. However, the frequency of those days has diminished greatly. That being said, I’d like to offer a comparison to NOW vs THEN.
Fine, aggravated, fine, crying, furious, fine, yelling, frustrated, fine, aggravated, angry, frustrated, sad, hurt… over and over and over. It took HOURS for me to get ahold of myself today. Five hours, to be precise.
Fine, furious, all-day-bitch. Maybe tomorrow and the next day, too. Try again tomorrow. Best of luck.
To some (myself included), it’s easy to get caught up in the shittiness. To become consumed by the rush of anger and irritation, and find yourself caught up in a downward spiral that seems impossible to escape… but I am SO PROUD OF ME. What would have been days of misery (for myself, and especially those around me), has been reduced to mere hours!
I have been slacking on my meditation this last week and haven’t been sleeping properly, and I have noticed the difference. In myself. In my emotional state. In my ability to re-center myself in a timely manner, and regain my emotional equilibrium. But, despite all that, I managed to keep my bitchiness to a mere five hours. And it wasn’t even constant. Intermittent bitchiness.
Most of my posts I write from a really good place. I get my ‘zen’ on, then type what I feel inspired to write about. As you can tell, this post is ALL ME, lol. The peek behind the curtain, so to speak.
No one likes to admit their flaws and weaknesses, but, if I am going to put out there how great life can be, I feel honor-bound to also be as honest as possible about things that aren’t so great, too… to an extent.
If I hadn’t managed to pull myself together, I wouldn’t have written today because, trust me, it ain’t worth reading what I have to say when I am that disconnected from Source… but when a negative turns into a positive, that’s something worth sharing.
I am not perfect, far from it, in fact, but I am BECOMING.
Becoming more loving.
Becoming a mentally/emotionally healthy person.
Becoming the ME that’s not as broken, damaged, bruised, etc as I was a year ago. As I have been for decades.
I am proud of the progress I have made on this long, strange journey… and really looking forward to progressing further, and having my ‘moments’ last minutes- not hours, or days… but in the meantime… I am constantly in amazement for the journey I am undertaking, and SO grateful for it.
And I’m ever grateful for the support and long-suffering of my readers. 🙂
Namaste and blessed be, friends!