Hi there!  You!  Yes, you, new follower on my blog!  I wanted to welcome you, and invite you to comment, respond, reply, like, share, whatever, wherever.

I’d like to invite you to connect with me.  To stretch a little, and meet me halfway.  I created this space to share my thoughts with others, in the hope that I would find a tribe, a group of like-minded people who would play with me, and mentally frolic and explore the boundaries on and of ourselves.

You don’t have to speak up.  Your presence here is seen and appreciated, even if you’re silent… but please know that I welcome all of you.  I welcome your thoughts, agreements, and even your disagreement.  I’m not perfect.  I’ll make mistakes and do things ‘wrong’ until the day I keel over.  If you disagree with me, feel free to speak up.  Both of us will have the chance to grow from the encounter.  I know I will.  Eventually. ūüėČ

I just wanted to welcome you all, since there seems to have been a few recent additions.  I’m so happy you’re here, and I very much look forward to getting to know you!

(Now, back to our regularly scheduled non-schedule…)

One Of Those Days…

Have you ever had ‘one of those days’? ¬†One of those days where it seems like you can’t get your feet under you, and everything seems to be rubbing you the wrong way, and you’re an ace from slapping the next person who looks sideways in your direction?

Today was that day.

Now, this isn’t my first such day, and I don’t expect it will be my last. ¬†However, the frequency of those days has diminished greatly. ¬†That being said, I’d like to offer a comparison to NOW vs THEN. Continue reading “One Of Those Days…”

One Little Word

So, I’ve been absent the past week or two, but I hope you all are doing well!

Today, I wanted to make a little post about the way we speak, and the subtle, but powerful, way it affects us.  Earlier this week I was pondering the human condition, as I often do, and had another of my realizations. 

“I have to go to the store.”

A simple sentence.  Say it to yourself as if you do need to go to the store, and really take a moment to FEEL how it makes you feel.  Was there a weight, in your shoulders or perhaps your solar plexus, when you said it?  It will be a different feeling for everyone, but if you focus, you will feel a reaction.  Now, depending on  where you are, and how much of your day has passed, you will usually find that the thought is immediately followed by other thoughts, such as,

“I have to find my purse/car keys.”

“I have to take a shower.”

“I have to get dressed.”

“I have to make a grocery list.”

Each of these thoughts carries its own weight with it, the weight of a thing that must be done, and then the weight of all of the other things that must be done in order to do the first thing.  But now, I’d like you to shake off all those thoughts, and try this sentence:

“I get to go to the store.”

Do you feel the difference one little word makes?  You may feel a ‘lightening’ feeling, but most often, what you feel is actually the absence of weight.  When you ‘have to’ go to the store, you can immediately feel the weight that settles on/in your body, but when you change one little word, when you ‘get to’ go to the store, you have turned an obligation into an opportunity. 

An opportunity to get out of the house.

An opportunity to feel gratitude that you even have a store to go to, a place where all of your needs can be taken care of.  Eggs without chickens!  Milk without cows!  Wow!

Remember when you were a little kid? Very rarely did you ‘have to’ go to the store… you GOT to go to the store.

We ‘have to’ do the things we don’t want to do.  We have to do our taxes.  We have to do our laundry.  We have to cook dinner or wash the clothes.  

We have to go to work.

But when we get to do these things, suddenly, it’s easier to find gratitude in our day.  It’s easier to actually do them, because it’s no longer a chore to be avoided, but an opportunity to be explored.  An opportunity for fun, or an opportunity to feel gratitude… opportunities are more FUN than obligations.  

We are less resistant to opportunities than we are to obligations.

As you read the following list, pay close attention to your feelings.  Note by how you FEEL, whether the item is a ‘have to’ or a ‘get to’.  (And there’s no ‘right’ way to feel, either… if you discover ‘have to’ feelings in an area where you thought you felt ‘get to’ feelings, or should feel ‘get to’ feelings… don’t worry, because the first step to getting your feelings where you want them to be is realizing where they actually are!)

Have To or Get To?

  • go to work
  • pay bills
  • go to school
  • cook dinner
  • go to the store
  • talk to my spouse
  • talk to my children
  • wash dishes
  • go to the fair
  • call my mother
  • call my father
  • meet friends for drinks
  • read
  • vacuum
  • go to sleep
  • be intimate with my partner
  • watch the news
  • go to the movies
  • be around people
  • leave the house

As you can see, everything we do has a (usually) automatic ‘feeling’ which we have assigned it, and the nature of our thoughts dictates whether we ‘have to’ do it, or whether we ‘get to’ do it.

Think about it… how many things in your life do you have to do, versus the amount of things you get to do?  We fill our days with ‘have to’ after ‘have to’… by simply naming them ‘have to’s, and everything related to the first ‘have to’, every step required to achieve it, has now become a ‘have to’, too.  If you ‘have to’ go to the store, you now ‘have to’ get dressed, drive there, wait in line, pay, come home, put your purchases away…. have to, have to, have to.  But if you ‘get to’ go to the store, your day is suddenly full of opportunity, not resistance. 

If you have children, or if you have spent any time at all around them, this concepts is SO easy to see in action.  Think of your child when they ‘get to’ go to the store… how they behave, their mood, etc.  Now, think of your child when they ‘have to’ go to the store with you… their attitude changes drastically, they begave poorly, they have temper tantrums, they are impatient and whiney and you probably just plead with the Universe to allow you to get in and out quickly.  Same store, same kids, different attitude.  The opportunity, or the obligation.

I believe that so many of us are spending our days, trapped on a hamster wheel of ‘have to’… so we are cranky when we drive, we are impatient in line, we are short tempered with our loved ones… we spend nearly our entire day caught up in our ‘have to’ life, like children forced into the car on Saturday morning, ‘having to’ go to the store and miss our cartoons.

My challenge to you, should you choose to accept, is to spend one day (one week, for the truly daring among you) saying ‘get to’ in place of ‘have to’ (and ‘need to’!).  You may find it helpful you to keep a little notebook, and jot down everything you consciously switch… you might be surprised at how much of your life you have developed an attitude of obligation, rather than adventure, about.

As a bonus, make a quick list of three to five things you ‘have to’ do, on a regular basis, and attempt to feel gratitude for them (not just listing things you know you should be grateful for, but actually feeling gratitude)… THEN, repeat the process, but change your words to ‘get to’, and try again to feel gratitude for the things on the list.  Wow, right?  You can feel the absence of a big chunk of resistance, can’t you? 

One little word!

I’d love to hear from you, your thoughts on the topic and your results from the ‘assignment’!

Blame, Responsibility, Anger, and Forgiveness  

A lot of people are probably¬†really going to dislike this post… all I can do is remind you that this blog is an accounting of my own journey. ¬†If it sounds false to you, then it’s either A) a lesson which you did not come into Being to learn, B) a lesson you are not yet ready to learn, or C) a lesson which you have surpassed and realized a deeper truth that negates this one (which happens a LOT, by the way- what is true for you today is often falsified by a deeper understanding attained further along in your journey).

So, now that the disclaimer is out of the way…

We all have crap in our past, and perhaps in our present, for which we find we have an exceedingly difficult time finding forgiveness.

When we are unable to forgive (forgiveness does NOT mean allowing toxic people to stab you in the back repeatedly, it means acquiring emotional neutrality regarding a specific person/event), if we look within, most often we find that inability to forgive is rooted in the hard seed of resentment.

A belief which maintains, “You did this to me!” Continue reading “Blame, Responsibility, Anger, and Forgiveness ¬†“

Minute Musing

People don’t exist to make you happy.

This may seem pretty basic.  On the surface, we’re all aware of the truth of that statement, but I’d like to encourage you to sit with it for a minute.  Really consider how often we get irritated or aggravated with others because they don’t do or say what we want them to, or how we want them to.  How often do we base our happiness in externals?

I know that for myself, the answer is way too often.

On the flip side of the coin, how do we feel when people get angry with us for not being/doing/saying what they want?  Guilty? Angry? 

Is your anger when others don’t ‘make you happy’ related to the need you feel to make others happy?

The Greatest Love of All Part II

Yesterday, I spoke about a fairly radical concept- the idea that the humans who hurt us the most are inhabited by the souls which love us the most. ¬†I understand that this can be a difficult premise to get behind. ¬†It’s an if/then scenario, which only works if you believe that within us all is a pure, divine Being.

After I wrote that post, I sat with the idea, ‘feeling it out’ beyond the initial inspiration ¬†(you see, I write for you guys as it comes to me… I meant it when I said you were sharing this journey with me!), and I got an even deeper insight into what this means… Continue reading “The Greatest Love of All Part II”

The Greatest Love of All

What if I told you that the people who have hurt you the most in your life are the souls who love you the most?

Crazy, right? ¬†When you look at life as a ‘human experience’, it is¬†an insane idea, but if you look at life as a ‘soul purpose’, and our ‘negative’ experiences as lessons, or nudges (shoves?) from other souls, intended to send us careening toward our true purpose, it starts to look a lot different. Continue reading “The Greatest Love of All”

Are Your ‘Life Lessons’ on Repeat?

I’ve often heard the saying, “If we forget the past, we’re doomed to repeat it,” or the similar, “The experience is repeated until the lesson is learned.

I’ve known this to be true from observing my own life, and the lives of those around me. ¬†We’re drawn into the same relationships, the same experiences, over and over again… but I’ve recently understood that learning the lesson is only half the ‘solution’.

The ‘pill’ I’m about to offer may be difficult to swallow for some. ¬†Others will reject it outright. ¬†But I believe those¬†who are ready¬†will read these words and hear the truth of them. ¬† If you’re not ready… that’s OKAY. ¬†My truth and your truth don’t need to be in lockstep. ¬†Truth, as much as we’d often insist¬†that it is absolute – black and white – is much more subjective than we would like to believe. Continue reading “Are Your ‘Life Lessons’ on Repeat?”

Who Holds Your Power?

I came across a great post about gratitude over at EssenCentral this morning, and commented with a practice which I had recently come across (but can’t recall where) in which the author, when her children become cranky, argumentative, or out of sorts, has them list three things which they are grateful for, and observed that this practice often raises the energetic vibration of her children from a lower state to a higher one, and that seeing the wisdom of such a practice, my husband and I charge the other to list three things which we are grateful for when we find the other¬†being cranky or crabby.

Kayla, the author of EssenCentral, liked the idea and expressed that she might implement the practice in her own relationship as well. ¬†When I read her comment (and this is why I love the back and forth of discussion of¬†ideas… and why the ‘mirror’ aspect of LOA has always resonated with me), I was suddenly struck with a thought, and please bear with me as I get to my point, because I promise there is a point! Continue reading “Who Holds Your Power?”